The Transition Part I: Sydney
I am currently writing this blog post from St. Petersburg, Russia
I wish I could tell you all the flowery things I dreamt and did whilst I was in Sydney, but this is not one of those blogs. I loved spending time with one of my close friends Nyarie, however at this time I was scared as hell inside most days. I had no idea what the future held; I had come out of some key traumatic events that I think I was only just starting to scratch the surface of including grieving the loss of my father the year before; separation from my husband and our pending divorce.
Yes divorce. Even though that is huge, one of the key things in me fully healing from that fact is that I am able to write it from a place of peace. For so long I felt ashamed about being separated. Until I realised as I travel, that my strength and healing come from saying it and being in a place of being proud of myself for not staying in a situation that mostly brought me pain. People who get divorced don’t get married with the intent of getting divorced. Life happens and the ultimate happiness of each person is what’s important. I’m so proud of rediscovering the beautiful soul that radiates within me.
In this time before going onboard, I coped by being as positive as I could; exercising and telling myself and others that things were going to be “absolutely fantastic”. Because I was forcing myself to exercise to get rid of the fear, it didn’t work because at that time all my body needed was rest after what had happened in my life and also before the big journey ahead. And the more I forced it, the more I didn’t really want to do it.
Now I sit in a place with exercise where I listen to my body. If I can feel my body telling me it needs a break from weights, then I will do body weight moves/Calisthenics or yoga instead. By listening to my body (without denying it movement of course)– I find that I am able to continuously sustain my fitness without effort that feels forced.
If you’re just starting out in your fitness journey, I’m not saying if you don’t feel like exercising – don’t – because that often leads to never starting… but start with something manageable like a brisk walk in nature, or even a 15 minutes session. The endorphin rush you get even from that little bit will fill you with joy and you can start adding more to each session every week. A good measure for exercise where you can start seeing results is a minimum of 3 times per week for 30-60 minutes in each session.
*See my next blog post on Exercise Essentials whilst travelling or if you’re someone who’s short on time.
Now for someone like myself who teaches and lives exercise and health daily, the guilt of not living up to what I felt was “expected” of me by society racked up, which didn’t help my situation. All I needed to learn was to just be and not feel like I had to fit any apparent definition of a successful personal trainer, a strong woman or anything that anyone told me I should be. You can’t be someone’s “should’s”…you can only embrace yourself. But this was a lesson I only fully grasped during my travels.
In that time before leaving for the ship, it was only in the moments when I prayed to God that I got glimpses of knowing I would be alright because I would feel this overwhelming sense of peace. My spirituality kept me going each day.
I invite you to keep walking with me through my journey…
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